On Black Lanternhood

Since I last blogged, I got the Atop the Fourth Wall fancomic started. I also started working as a research assistant at GSLIS, looking at data provenance. And the fall semester started, my penultimate as a Master’s student.

Oh, it went great, at first. But apparently this is what I look like now:

This is a reference pic for page 5 of the fancomic, in case you're wondering why I'm adjusting invisible glasses.

Which is to say, I look positively undead. “Positively,” because, hey! just in time for Halloween! All I need is a Black Lantern ring, a few silver marks on my shirt, and someone’s heart to munch on.

But, seriously, this month has been terrible. I’m sleep-deprived and often nutritious-food-deprived. I’ve been teetering on the verge of being sick for two weeks.

My mental health has deteriorated more slowly, but I’m very close to rock bottom now, which is why I’m blogging about this in the first place. I am spending more and more time detoxing, getting myself to a point at which I can work again. I spend most of my days not feeling much at all besides disappointment in myself. Like a Black Lantern, I’ve been devouring things that make me feel something again, muted though the emotion is under the layers of exhaustion. Sparks of feminist anger or nerd rage are best, but really, I’m just searching for my Fangirl Squee.

But, yes, the reason I’m writing this. I have no energy to spare for other people right now. I’m an introvert – I lose energy in social situations. And I am very low on energy right now. I write this to hopefully excuse myself from people wondering why I’m not posting much on Facebook. I’ve been active on Twitter, but I really haven’t been feeling that either for the last few days. It’s possible I won’t be feeling it for awhile yet. I’ll almost certainly be around if anyone needs to contact me, but please don’t expect much from me until I recover from this month, both mentally and physically.

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