Portal cake!

Yes, my mysterious cooking project was to create a cake inspired by that amazing game, Portal! Doesn’t it look pretty? And pretty yummy too?

nom ❤

The best thing about it? The cake is a lie.

Yeah, that’s right. That’s technically not cake, but meatloaf. Two meatloaves, with mashed potato “frosting” and cherry tomatoes.

I tried out four different meatloaves ahead of time, and settled on Allrecipes’ “Brown Sugar Meatloaf,” found here. While two other meatloaves were tastier (imo), I decided my chosen meatloaf should have some sweetness to it, as an apology for it not being cake.

The mashed potatoes were my own recipe. Also ahead of time, I discovered that a combination of soy sauce and honey would turn the potatoes light brown, as well as providing sweetness.

Originally my plan was to use plain cherry tomatoes in place of the Portal cake’s cherries. At the last minute, I discovered this “Baked Cherry Tomatoes with Garlic” recipe and knew I had to make a batch. The recipe was a gamble, since I hadn’t pre-tested it, but the results were absolutely perfect.

Here’s some pictures of the process:

A stale bread layer to soak up icky meatloaf grease


Raw meatloaves with ketchup-brown sugar glaze on top.


Before you chop, make sure your potatoes don't house AIs!


Gaaaarlic ❤ ❤ ❤


The tomatoes before baking


Mashing the taters


The meatloaf comes out of the oven


Mashed potato filling


The second layer


The "frosting" has food coloring added


The tomatoes after baking


A frosted cake-like thing!


mfw I realized I should have reserved some white mashed potatoes for "whipped cream"


The completed "cake"

There’s still room for tweaking, I think. I need to figure out how to make the mashed potatoes a darker brown with food coloring, and I’m not sure the meatloaf is as flavorful as it could be. So I won’t share my overall recipe just yet.

Still, it was delicious, and just about everything I’d hoped. So far as I’m concerned, the “The Cake is a Lie” Cake project is a success. I only wish I’d been able to have people over for dinner. This cake is understandably filling, and then there are all the extra party-appetizer-perfect baked tomatoes… This meal requires hungry friends!

  1. Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: