Oscillation

I admit I’m being emo.  You’ve been warned.


I am oscillating.  Between happiness and gut-wrenching remorse, between juggling with ease and dropping all the balls but one.  It’s worrying me.  I started sliding into depression around this time last year.  I started attacking webcomic archives with a fury I used to reserve for my books.  Now, I can spread my hobbies out and tackle each in turn.  Now, I can get all my homework done on time, I can shower at regular intervals, I can eat a minimum of twice a day.  I might actually be able to pull off NaNoWriMo this year.  I’m certainly putting out some good poetry everyday.

But.

I started crying last night and couldn’t stop for an hour.  I lost myself in the “Fans!” archives (I’ve been reading the annotated version up until last night) and as a result didn’t finish my homework.  I skipped class entirely for the first time this semester.  None of these are good signs.  I’m hoping I can feel better soon, because I don’t want to be consistently depressed again.  Best to exit the loop before it starts.

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